This YouTube video contains a recording of my monologue which was taken from my brother who was the original inspiration for my character idea. The pictures were only added as a way of being compatible to upload to YouTube.
“How can comfort be found in an environment which is absent, scarce? Where you can be clearly identified and discriminated, where you can’t hide? Chaos is oddly beautiful and is a cloak that conceals loneliness. Am I abnormal to find relief in crowded areas? I find myself fearing isolation in serenity. I suppose I am afraid of what reflects how I feel inside. Observing movement around me keeps me assured that life will always go on. Silence and emptiness holds so much potential and I only feel contented when I absorbed by masses. Why do I hate holidays? It is time away from reality, form and structure. Holidays are meant for relaxation, but if anything they make me feel uneasy because they are a void in time where you can abandon your responsibilities. I keep myself busy because being productive is part of who I am. I am busy through my intense mind, I can identify that within myself. I know I am fixated on what is occurring around me and it makes me obsessive of situations and probabilities. My type of holiday is learning about the world around me- hellos, goodbyes, life, death, growth. The rhythms that prevail in the moving Earth which I myself, find difficulty in belonging to. Observing people is my holiday. Its time I can spend away from having to force social interaction. Another reason I observe people is because I enjoy human error, I enjoy the idea that humans are fallible because that part of nature is true and cannot be faked. With masses of people, I feel equality and on my own I feel inadequate. Strangers give me the benefit to be whoever I please because they are still uneducated of my identity. We have common existence in the world and we have to tolerate each-others belonging to it. This is why I do not follow conventional holidays, because it leads us all into the danger of falling into ignorance and complacence.”